ARCHIVE
Author: AssholeSir
- TICKET #0006 · CLOSED: COMPROMISED Password1! Is Not a Password. It’s a Confession. Adding an exclamation point doesn't make your password secure. It just makes it excited.
- TICKET #0005 · CLOSED: NOT AN OUTAGE The Internet Is Down (Said the Man in Airplane Mode) A company-wide outage, reported by one person, on one laptop, with the Wi-Fi turned off since March.
- TICKET #0004 · CLOSED: EVIDENCE REVIEWED “I Didn’t Click Anything” and Other Lies We Hear Every Week Your downloads folder, your browser history, and your three new toolbars would like a word.
- TICKET #0003 · CLOSED: EXPERTISE APPLIED You’re Not Paying Us to Hit the Fridge. You’re Paying Us to Know Where. The break room fridge was humming like a jet engine. We hit it once. It stopped. That will be $400.
- TICKET #0002 · CLOSED: RESOLVED (BY RESTART) Yes, Turning It Off and On Again Counts as Fixing Your Problem You called. We said "restart it." It worked. Now you're mad we billed you. Let's talk about that.
- TICKET #0001 · CLOSED: USER ERROR ID10T: Lenovo Is Too Polite to Say It Lenovo's official glossary calls ID10T "a humorous term" for user error. We read the whole thing. We have notes.