TICKET #IT-000200 · PRICING · STATUS: NON-NEGOTIABLE
Our pricing philosophy is simple.
If you have to ask, you probably cannot afford it.
Typical costs
A sample invoice. Yours will be worse.
Invoice #INV-000481516
IT Jerks Professional Services
Terms: Due yesterday
Late fee: Emotional
Late fee: Emotional
| Description | Qty | Amount |
|---|---|---|
| Initial consultation | 1 | $500.00 |
| Saying "have you tried restarting" | 1 | $175.00 |
| Fixing the issue after restart | 1 | $600.00 |
| Explaining why it was your fault | 1 | Included |
| Sighing audibly during callBilled per sigh | 7 | $315.00 |
| Acronym surchargeMFA, SSO, DNS, VPN, SLA, RMM, EDR, MDR, XDR, WTF | 10 | $120.00 |
| Password resetYours. Again. | 3 | $285.00 |
| After-hours support"After hours" begins at 3:30 PM | 2 | $700.00 |
| Travel timeFrom our desk to our other desk | 1 | $85.00 |
| Anything involving a printer | 1 | $1,000.00 |
| Total due | $3,780.00 |
Plans
Three plans. Carefully designed to be the same.
Most clients choose Gold. Mostly because we pre-selected it on the contract.
Bronze
$If you askPER USER / PER MONTH / PER MOOD
- We answer emails
- Business hours (ours)
- Phone support
- Respect
Pre-selected for you
Gold
$You can'tPER USER / PER MONTH / PER SIGH
- We answer emails, eventually
- Business hours (ours, but earlier)
- Phone support (we listen to the voicemail)
- Respect
Silver
$Afford itSAME AS GOLD. COSTS MORE. DON'T ASK.
- Everything in Gold
- A dedicated account manager who is also on vacation
- Quarterly reviews of your mistakes
- Respect