AVG RESPONSE: 11d 04:32:17 SUPPORT LINE: (555) 555-5555

SERVICES · TICKET #IT-000105 · STATUS: HYPED

AI

AI is the future. We know because we've added "AI-powered" to every line of your invoice.

Now with AI

Same services as last year. New slide deck. Higher price. That's innovation.

AI offerings

Copilot readiness
We turn on Microsoft Copilot and let it read every file you've overshared since 2014. Then we bill you for the cleanup.
AI strategy workshop
Four hours. One slide. The slide says "It depends."
AI help desk
We replaced our help desk with a chatbot. It's ruder than we are, and it doesn't take lunch.
Prompt engineering
We type questions into a box. You pay us to type questions into a box.
AI acceptable use policy
Paste whatever you want into whatever free tool you find. What's the worst that could happen?

The annoyingly correct part

That last one is a trap. AI assistants like Copilot can surface anything a user already has access to, so fix file permissions before you turn them on. And write down which AI tools staff can use with company data. "Whatever's free" is how client files end up in places you can't get them back from.